Sins of the Father
by Fortiscule
Summary: Shepard has to face the demons of his past. This story shows that sometimes your own worst enemy can be yourself, and your greatest ally can be someone you love. *AUTHOR'S NOTE* I have revised it with my final edition. Please read and review! Thanks!
1. 248 Years Ago

Wolfe was just what the fuhrer wanted. He was the very model of perfection. He was strong for his age, athletic, had short blond hair and blue eyes, and was at the top of his class. The rain on this dreary morning began to pick up strength. The others around him began to shiver and cringe in the cold, but Wolfe stayed still with his eyes forward and his back straight.

The officer that ran Wolfe's division finally exited his tent for morning roll call. His long leather trench coat gleamed in the rain and sun. The visor of his hat shined in the light. He kept special care as he walked over the muddy ground to not spill the steaming cup of coffee he held in a gloved hand. He stopped short of six feet away from the crowd of young Germans and cast an observing eye upon the lot of them. Wolfe was standing at attention along with all of his friends. A smile graced the officer's bony, embittered face as Wolfe and the officer made eye contact. He was the only one the head officer smiled at. Wolfe grinned in return.

The officer handed off the coffee to his assistant beside him and raised his hand tothe crowd. The boys raised their hands in return and they chanted their speech of support to the fatherland as the red flag of victory waved during the bleak European morning.


	2. Nostalgic Insomnia

Shepard sat up in his bedroom, cursing the absence of sleep. He ran his hands through his long, blond hair. The tattoos etched on his arms, all of which he had designed meticulously himself, were barely visible in the shadows of his room. On his right arm was a stack of the names of people he had lost under his command. The most recent one stood just below his elbow written in curvy black lettering. Ashley Madeline Williams.

Every time he looked down at those names, he felt like a stain upon the Alliance, on Captain Anderson, on Joker, on everyone under his command. But at the same time, seeing them made him feel stronger, like he needed to be stronger. His whole crew depended on him, and there would probably never be another time where trust and courage were more needed than on this final assault on the Collectors.

At the top of this memorial was a phrase written in a language that's age could out last an Asari: Memento Mori. This was a Latin phrase that, no matter how much he hated himself for his errors, he could look to for strength. It meant "Remember to Live". He may have lost others, and he had to learn from his mistakes and not lay down and die because of them. Because if he did, there was no telling how many would die after that. The other tattoo was a Turian tribal mark thats intricacy was made up of overlapping shapes and lines. The art of tattooing was a common practice among Turian warriors, and in Shepard's travels, he had met some Turians that could make even the most hardened of veterans run like whipped dogs.

Shepard was a soldier by necessity, but an artist by choice. He rose from his bed and walked over to his desk and examined the picture he was still in the process of creating. It was the largest drawing he had ever done standing at thirty six inches by twenty four inches. This was not only the biggest he had ever done, but it was also the most meaningful. It was a portrait of Tali, the Quarian engineer. Shepard ran his eyes over the almost completed picture. She was so beautiful. She was so beautiful and she did not even know it.

Ever since he first laid eyes on her in that filthy alley on the Citadel, he knew he was looking at a work of art. No matter how lovely she was, Shepard could never capture on paper the feeling that flooded his body when both of them sealed their love for each other in the engine room of the Normandy. He took her hands and told her that she was the one that he wanted.

He panicked. Shepard thought that maybe he had been too quick, too trusting of her to think that a Quarian, an alien would recognize the holding of another one's hand as a symbol of trust and love. He couldn't read her behind the glass of her mask. He blushed profusely and was erratic in his questions, wondering if maybe she was closing herself off to him due to his rash actions.

But she didn't. She took him by the hands as well. She rubbed her gloved hand over his palm and gently punctuated the gesture by running her fingers up his fingers until she let them trail off of his fingertips. Shepard felt like he was in heaven. He felt so relieved that she understood what he was trying to say. It never stopped being funny in a slight way. He felt more human around her than he did any other human in the galaxy. He decided right then and there that he wanted to spend the rest of his mortal life with that one, absolutely amazing woman.

The portrait was black and white and nearly picture perfect, but as good as he could make Tali's picture, he was never really satisfied with it. He literally slaved over it whenever he got the chance. He made sure every line was straight, every curve smooth, and every shadow proportionate. No matter how perfect he could draw her, nothing would compare to looking at her face to face in Shepard's mind.

It was so boggling to think that this astounding picture came from a blank piece of paper. Shepard looked at this like a parallel to his own life at this point. He started out with nothing two years ago. He had no friends, no family, and no future other than the Alliance. But ever since Eden Prime, he had been slowly building his own picture. He found friends in his alien and human allies, faced a massive loss on Virmire, redeemed a fallen hero in Saren, and then cheated death itself. He has made many additions to his own life picture up to this point, and the picture is beautiful.


	3. Bad Blood

He picked up the pack of cigarettes he had on his nightstand. He had bought them on the last trip to the Citadel. "Citadel Slims" the package read.

He followed the motion with the retrieval of his N7 lighter. He snapped it open and sparked the flint which gave way to the wispy yellow flame he had grown so accustomed to. He inhaled the fumes. The smoke tasted bitter as it made a wave over his tongue.

He let the smoke leave his mouth. The grey gas danced a beautiful ballet through his room. One smoke tail would do a twirl through the air before coming to rest on the cloud following it. It would roll and tumble over itself with the fluidity of water. Truly, it was a strange place to find beauty. But really how beautiful could it be? It was a swirling dance of cancer causing chemicals. Looks are only good until you know what they hide.

Shepard walked over to his sealed cabinet for his very personal belongings. It was a silver cabinet with a holographic number pad for the security of the contents. Like the gates to some fantastical castle, the doors slowly opened. This cabinet was more like Shepard's locker of pain. It contained every item and memory of a dark time in Shepard's life. There were several cardboard boxes labeled "Mindoir", "Elysium", "family", and so on. But there was one crate that Shepard was searching for.

Underneath one of the boxes, Shepard fished out a solid metal crate. It was a two feet by two feet cube with another lock pad on it. He walked over to his bed and set it down like an offering to a shrine. He punched in the combination code and took a step back as the machine began to chime and vibrate as various gears and motors within it finally gave way to open the door on top of it. Shepard shakily reached into it and curled his fingers around the first item. Shepard brought the contents up even with his face. It was a hat, an officer's hat. Its black fabric felt soft in Shepard's hand and the plastic visor shined in the ambient light.

The arching structure of the hat brought his eye to the band right above the visor. Above a coiled silver rope was a skull. A steel skull with deep, black pits for eyes. Shepard's stomach churned every time he saw this. He sat it down on the bed and reached back into the crate. This time he pulled out a dagger with pitch black letters engraved on the blade. The hilt had the symbol on it. The symbol that would haunt his soul forever because he knew that two hundred and fifty years ago, he was a monster, and the blood of that monster ran through him to this day.


	4. Angel

A gentle rapping noise echoed from the door. Shepard suddenly transformed into a tornado of action as he began stuffing the contents back into the crate and shoving it back in the closet. He then threw the blanket he had been using to cover the drawing back over it. He lightly jogged over to the door and looked through the holographic peep hole to see Tali standing at his door. He then turned around and ran to his bed and began quickly stubbing the cigarette out into an ash tray and then slid it under the bed in a desperate attempt to hide the smoking stub.

"Come in," he coughed out while hastily trying to sweep his hair out of his eyes. The door whooshed open and Tali stood looking at him for a moment. She had her hands clasped together and her legs close together like she was about to get scolded for something. She took a few tentative steps into Shepard's room. Shepard motioned for her to come further in as he sat on his couch. "Can't get any sleep either I see," he said with the ghost of a laugh following it in a vain effort at a conversation starter.

"You've been smoking again, haven't you?" she asked simply as she sat down. Shepard looked at her, confounded. "Shepard, we quarians don't have air purity analysis readings built in to our suits for nothing," she said with a hint of condescending sarcasm in her voice. Shepard looked down at the floor in defeat. She was getting really good at reading Shepard these last few days.

"Okay," Shepard sighed, "You got me, Tali. I've been smoking."

"I thought you said you quit," She stated while shifting positions in her seat. Once again, Shepard had the tables turned on him, and it was making him angry. Had she been any other soldier, he would already have been playing the "commanding officer" card by now. But since it was Tali, he couldn't yell at her. He instead got up and walked over to where he could look up and observe his skylight to the infinite boundaries of space.

"I tried to," he said simply. "It's just hard. It's something I've been doing for a long, long time, Tali. It's almost become something that reminds me of myself."

"If something that reminds you of yourself also hurts you, then you should let it go and just face up to just being you," She said. Shepard looked at her. She was looking at Shepard like she was staring at something deep in his soul.

"What are you saying?" he asked, lowering his eyebrows. She sighed deeply before looking back up at him.

"We had extensive human study done during school on the Migrant Fleet. I know about you, Shepard. I know about Wolfe. It's time to let him go," she concluded.

"So what, are you reading up on me now? Is that it? You don't know me, and don't pretend that you do!" He barked at her. She didn't even flinch. Shepard felt ashamed of himself. He quickly turned his back to her and lowered his head. "You just can't imagine the pain it is just being me. Knowing that somewhere, deep in here," he said as he turned toward her, "I'm him."

"Don't you dare say that you stupid bosh'tet!" she yelled at him as she rose to her feet and started walking at an aggravated pace towards him. She stopped inches away from him and looked him in the eye. "You have done things that he could never have dreamed of. You saved the Council, you reunited Thane with his son, you gave Jack closure from her past, and you even helped me, Shepard, You helped me learn the truth about my father. Even more so, you stood by my side while all others stood against me!" she said, finally taking a breath.

Tali was much smaller than Shepard, but she seemed like a giant to him now. He looked up to see that she had a few tears in her eyes behind her mask. Shepard broke down and dropped on to the bed. He held his hands over his face and began to cry. "I'm sorry, Tali," he choked out, "I'm so, so sorry." Shepard thought that she had walked out of his room as he cried, and he wouldn't have blamed her, but then he felt the bed move as she sat down on his left.

"Look at me, Shepard," she said almost in a whisper. He raised his head up. Long strands of blond hair obscured his vision of her. She raised her right hand up and ever so gently brushed his hair behind his ear. Then she began to use her thumb to flick away Shepard's tears. She cradled his cheek in her hand and looked him in his piercing blue eyes.

"You're a good man, Shepard, and don't ever let the past mistakes of someone else determine who you are up here," she said as she pointed one of her three fingers to his forehead, "and especially in here." She placed her hand over his strong chest. They sat looking at each other for a minute or two before she finally got up and began walking to the door.

"Wait, please!" he said, louder than he intended. He got up and began twiddling his thumbs in slight embarrassment. "Thank you so much for," he paused, trying to think of a word for it, "everything." Shepard walked over to the podium where he was keeping his picture. "I was going to save it until I got it how I liked it, but I guess I can never love the sight of it as much as I love it now."

He gently pulled the cover off of it. Shepard looked back and forth from the picture to Tali. It was like looking into a graphite mirror. Her manner was hard to read as she inched closer and closer to it. She started rubbing her hands together again. She reached out with and traced her finger around the outline of her hood on the picture. She slowly turned toward Shepard and wrapped her arms around his torso. She was trembling slightly.

"This is the nicest thing any one's ever done for me," she said through the guise of tears. "I love it."

"I know you do," Shepard whispered. Tali looked up at him. His blue eyes, stubble, and blond hair looked like a luminous silver in the dim light of space. "Because I love you" he whispered as he embraced her. He rested his cheek on her head and closed his eyes just to hear her gentle breath even better. He could see a shadow of fear in her eyes like she was afraid to say she loved him too. She instead hugged him even tighter.

"Don't ever leave me-" she stopped nervously, "us, the crew."

"I won't, Tali," He said warmly, "I promise I will never leave." She looked up at him one last time as he looked down at her. "After all, I have to remember to live,"

"For us?" She asked.

"For you," Shepard whispered back. They gently touched their foreheads together as a gesture of love. They embraced each other until they finally pulled themselves from each other. She gave him one last look before she walked out of his door. That night, Shepard got better sleep than he had ever gotten in years. He did not dream of cold European mornings or hateful German officers. He dreamed of stars, and planets, and ships, and of love.


	5. Letting Go and Holding On

2 days later. The Citadel.

The Normandy was docked at its usual location on the Citadel. The Cerberus and mission crew were celebrating the victory over the Collectors at one of the biggest clubs it had to offer. It was called Fantasy and was located on the Presidium ring. Shepard had rented the entire building for his crew's use. It was quite expensive, but after all that they had done for him, it was the least he could do.

The architecture was based off of the rest of the Citadel essentially. It was near ivory white and the tables and chairs all had the sloping and curvy pattern associated with turian and asari works. There was a bar and stage for a band to play. The ceiling was very high, almost thirty feet. It was topped with a glass skylight that gave way to open stars. It was a very nice setting for a celebration, and the entire crew of the Normandy was present in it with room for more.

Some sat at tables while others talked amongst fellow crew mates in the various corners and open floor areas of the lounge. A band was playing. They played some old twentieth century and twenty-first century songs on acoustic instruments so as not to disturb the masses, but they played just loud enough so that any ear that wished to hear them could.

Grunt, Mordin, Jacob, Zaeed, and all the other crew members stood alive and well. Tali sat at a table with Kasumi and Joker. She was mainly interested in watching the humorous travesty unfold as Joker attempted to flirt with the Japanese thief. All of his attempts, however, always ended in failure. As she drank a highly sterilized quarian equivalent of a beer through her feeding tube, she noticed that Shepard was no where to be found. She got up from her chair and started pacing about the area, looking to see if maybe he had just some how managed to blend completely into the crowd around him. But indeed, he was not present in the club. She even started over hearing the Cerberus and mission crew start to question as to his whereabouts as well.

"I'm sorry to bother you two but have either of you seen Shepard any where?" Tali asked. She was addressing Thane and his son, Kolyat. They were sitting at a table and appeared to be in deep discussion. They had both made a lot of progress building back up the father-son relationship that they had both been deprived of. They had actually began smiling to each other now.

"He walked out of the southern exit about ten minutes ago," Thane answered in his normal croaking voice, not even turning toward Tali.

"He had some kind of duffel bag with him," Kolyat added.

"That makes no sense, why would he go out that way unless... oh Keelah," Tali finally uttered after a moment of skimming over the map of the Presidium on her omni-tool . She headed towards the exit in an almost running fashion.

"Hey do you know where Shepard is?" Garrus asked as she passed him by.

"Yes," was all she was able to answer in her frame of mind. Garrus sat his drink that he was sipping down and hastily sprang into action and followed her. He was unsure what the hurry was about, but after seeing what they had seen on the Collector space station, he was ready for anything.

Shepard stood in front of the urn dispenser on the Presidium's cemetery, Valhalla. It was where all soldiers, politicians, and other people of highly notable qualities came to be laid to rest. This was the human portion of it, so it had all the commodities that humans would suspect of a cemetery: green grass, walking paths, headstones, and trees with the same artificial sky hovering over it that the rest of the Presidium had. Over all, it was a very nice throw back to burial sites on Earth.

There were special areas that could take the ashes of a person and expel them into the Serpent Nebula itself. They were medium sized hatches that had a hinged wooden door similar to a very elaborate cabinet. Once the contents were sealed inside, the user would press a red button next to it and the contents were then ejected into the vast reaches of the galaxy. A large pane of glass allowed the person or group of people watch as it started its voyage into the great beyond.

Shepard stood in front of the door, staring at it, gaining strength for the job soon to be done. Some of the crew had made the comment that Shepard had looked like he was headed to a funeral rather than a celebration, and he couldn't deny that there was truth to their words. He wore a black jacket with matching black pants and shirt and shoes and he had his long hair pulled back into a neat pony tail.

He took the duffel bag he had hanging on his shoulder and sat it on the ground with a thud. He knelt down and began to unzip the bag. After taking a cautionary glance around to see if any one was present, which there was not, he punched in the combination to the box. Once again, he retrieved the hat and dagger. After taking one last look at the two items, he opened the cabinet and placed them inside the small evacuation area. Shakily, Shepard closed the door.

He heard a sound of escaping gas as the door sealed itself from the station, the red button glowed, issuing the sign that it was ready to be used. Shepard, feeling nauseous, raised his hand up slowly and curled his fingers down except his index with which he was leading towards the button. Before he touched it, a feeling all too familiar to him overtook. It was like he was being probed by Liara again when they were searching for Saren. A series of fast images went by his vision so quickly that he was only able to interpret some of them.

He saw himself holding Tali, he saw himself waking up at Lazarus station, then he saw the Normandy destroying Sovereign, and finally he saw the first time he set foot on the Normandy. He saw flashes of Elysium, then he saw his beloved family before they were robbed from him on Mindoir sitting down to dinner at the colony he called home. Then the images started to get fuzzy. He started seeing twenty first century things. He saw, America in the two thousands, then he saw all the wars that had been fought: Afghanistan, Vietnam, Korean, and finally, as if from the vision of a bird swooping down, he saw the images heading towards that familiar, rainy morning. The image got closer and closer until it plunged directly into the blackness of Wolfe's pupil.

Shepard finally gained control of himself. He raised his hands up and saw that they were black leather gloves. He looked down and saw that he was dressed in the same manner that Wolfe had been dressed, wearing all black and bedecked in accursed medals of false valor. He reached up to touch his head and found that his long hair had been clipped off until it was a fine layer of trimmed hair. He ran his finger further upwards to feel the outline of an officer's hat.

"Feeling familiar yet?" uttered a distorted voice from behind Shepard. The voice was like a weave of many voices mixed into one, deep, ominous voice of chilling fear. He turned around to see Wolfe, all grown up. He was wearing black head to toe, so much so that his head almost seemed to be floating in the darkness behind him. The only items that pronounced his form were some medals, metal buttons on his uniform, silver patches, and his hat with which the skull seemed to be the shiniest part.

"Where am I, Wolfe!" Shepard yelled out. Wolfe's cold, pale face chuckled slightly and then he began to circle Shepard. His footsteps making a loud echoing noise like someone walking in a hangar with hard-bottomed shoes.

"What do you mean, dear boy? You're nowhere but inside yourself, you're inside your own head," Wolfe said with a sing-song gleefulness to his voice. Shepard shook his head in defiance.

"You're not here. You're not real you sadistic bastard!" Shepard yelled back. Wolfe stopped, turned toward Shepard, and grinned.

"Do you love that girl, Shepard? This Tali I keep hearing about in your thoughts," he asked with interest. Suddenly, the blackness was lit up with small snippets of video-like images recorded through what appeared to be what Shepard had seen. He saw when he hugged Tali after she found her father. On another screen, he saw when he had first met Tali on the Citadel. Every single one of the dozen or so screens played a different memory Shepard had had of Tali. Shepard looked at Wolfe in sheer astonishment.

"Of course you do," Wolfe chuckled. "My point is, love is an emotion. A very powerful emotion. You have true love for that girl, and you make it real up here." he said as he tapped his finger on his left temple. "So in actuality, the reason I'm here, the reason I'm talking to you right here, right now, is because you've made me real, Shepard. You've given me a second birth through your emotions and thoughts,"

"No," Shepard whispered. "You're wrong. You have to be wrong."

"Oh no I'm not, dear boy. I'm just as real as you are," Wolfe said as he seemed to disappear and reappear behind Shepard. He whispered in his ear, "And I've always been with you, in the back of your mind, feeding off of all your pathetic self-loathing and inner hatred." He placed a cold hand on Shepard's shoulder. Suddenly, hate, anger, and rage surged through his body.

"Oh, here's a good one," Wolfe chuckled. Suddenly, the entire area turned into one huge screen where he saw one of his lowest points. It was when he had gotten out of basic training with the alliance. It was one of his first missions, he had to fight a group of Batarian slavers. He remembered it being a little over a year after his parents were killed. He was young, restless, bitter, and full of hatred. The finer details in Shepard's mind were sketchy, but he remembered that he got into a close quarters battle with a Batarian. He had gotten the Batarian down on the ground and he was punching and beating the life out of it. All he could think of at the time was his family being killed by them.

His actions seemed tolerable then, but now, they were horrifying to him. He saw his actions through his own eyes again. He saw himself punch it with his right hand, then his left, then his right again. The cycle repeated over and over and the Batarian became more and more unrecognizably mutilated with every hit. Blood splashed and stained the ground, teeth flew everywhere, and a couple of its eyeballs separated from their sockets. Eventually, he was beating it down to where the skull was visible underneath muscle and horrendous amounts of blood.

"Stop! Please, God, stop it!" Shepard yelled out. Even when he closed his eyes he could see it. Suddenly everything went black again. He opened his eyes to see the boots of Wolfe in front of him. Shepard was down on all fours in a groveling manner.

"You need me, Shepard," Wolfe said as he lowered a helping hand down to Shepard. Finally it occurred to Shepard, he could not beat him. He reached a hand up and grabbed Wolfe's hand and heaved himself up. He looked into Wolfe's bright blue eyes and smiled.

"No, Wolfe," Shepard said, "_you_ need me, and that's why I forgive you." Wolfe's smile faded and his complexion quickly became one of fear. He took a few steps back.

"What did you say?" Wolfe choked out. Shepard laughed slightly.

"I've spent all these long years being mad at you and hating you for what you've done, and in return I've hated myself. And that' why I forgive you. I no longer have hatred for you."

"No!" Wolfe screamed. He pulled out his dagger and ran towards Shepard with it held in a stabbing position. The blade stopped short about three inches from his chest. Wolfe showed extreme exertion in his face as he desperately tried to stab Shepard. His unbelieving eyes darted from the Dagger to Shepard's face. Shepard only smiled in return.

"This is my life, Wolfe," Shepard said quietly, "you can't hurt me anymore." The black world around him slowly started turning bright white. Wolfe started being pulled away from Shepard into the white light. He was screaming in pain and his limbs writhed in every direction. His skin and clothing started chipping away like dried paint and the particles dried up and disintegrated in the light. Light shined through his mouth and eyes as the dissolving of his body finally climaxed. Shepard grinned gently and closed his eyes.

"Good bye, Wolfe," he said softly, "I hope in some life after this, you find peace." Shepard was overtaken by white light. Finally, blackness entered again.

Then, he opened his eyes...


	6. Guardian Angels

Shepard, then eight years old, leaned against his father's leg as they looked at the Mindoir sunset. Shepard looked up at his father. He seemed so tall to Shepard. His face was shadowed by his hat but he could vaguely see his shoulder length brown hair and the hint of his beard. Shepard was growing restless. He had been helping the colonists build new buildings and farm all day by fetching them water whenever they asked and by toting small things to and fro for them. Shepard grabbed his father's arm and began to tug at it in frustration.

"Daddy, I'm sleepy!" he exclaimed. His father didn't even look away from the sunset. He instead picked Shepard up and held him in a sitting position as he balanced on his forearm.

"Hush, son," he said softly yet firmly, "You've got to remember to savor these types of things. I don't know how many times I wished I could have seen a sunset like this when I was serving in the Alliance."

"Daddy, what do you mean?" Shepard pleaded. He looked at his father. He had browned skin from working in the fields long hours and a patch over his left eye from a battle he had fought years ago. His eyes were the same icy blue as Shepard's except his complexion was more rough. It was like someone had taken a dull knife to sculpt his face. But there was a sense of kindness and compassion under all that rough. He cracked a smirk and ruffled Shepard's hair.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, "I forgot I was talking to a baby."

"I'm not a baby!" Shepard said with a laugh, "I'm gonna be big and strong and I'm gonna help people and be a hero like you, Daddy!" The smile lessened on his face.

"That's great, but don't try to grow up too fast, kiddo," he added. Shepard was confused by his sudden change in tone, but he disregarded it.

"Daddy, what did you mean about 'saving' it?" he asked.

"_Savoring _it, son," he corrected, "it means to take something in before it's gone."

"But what's to savor, dad? It's just a stupid ol' dumb sunset. It happens every day!" he said in sheer confusion.

"That's true, it does happen everyday. But think about it," he waved his hand across the horizon, "This could be the last 'dumb ol' sunset you'll ever see, so you'd better take it in while you can. Every first time could be your last time, so you've got to hold on to it as long as you can."

Shepard looked more confused than ever, but he did turn and look at the horizon. The sun was like half of an orange sitting on the green pastures. The purples and reds mixed with the glow of the sun and painted a mural over the darkening sky as stars started to take their place on the stage in the sky. A gentle breeze mixed with the scents of exotic alien flowers and fruits caressed his face.

"I guess it's kind of pretty," Shepard said.

"I'm glad you think so. All I'm saying is when you find something you love or think is fun or just makes you feel good, you had better hold on to it because there's no telling when you'll find another thing like it," he concluded. Shepard nodded in agreement.

"Okay you two," said the voice of Shepard's mom, "I know someone who needs to go get some sleep." Her delicate features rivaled his father's rough ones. She had full, rosy cheeks, smooth skin, and beautiful eyes. She was wearing a skirt and had her long blond hair braided into a pony tail. She took Shepard out of his arms and started playfully kissing his face rapidly to which Shepard responded by trying to wipe them off at the pace with which she was giving them. She then started to walk off towards their small home, but Shepard finally broke free of his mom's grasp and ran toward his dad and threw himself around his leg.

"What are you doing, son," he asked almost stumbling over from Shepard's tackle.

"I'm savoring this moment because I don't know when I'll get to do this again," he said through clenched teeth. His dad sighed and picked him up again.

"Now you listen to me, young man," he said in his deep voice, "Your mom and I aren't going anywhere."

"And even if you get to where you can't see us, we will always be with you," his mom added.

"Up here," his dad said as he pointed a finger to Shepard's forehead.

"And in here," said his mom as she placed her hand on his chest. Shepard smiled and placed his head on his dad's chest and listened to his heart beat as the Mindoir sun fell even more. He finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	7. I Am Me

Shepard found that his father's heartbeat was actually his as his body went into overdrive from a sudden burst of adrenaline. Shepard felt his lungs fill with air as his vision turned into a blindingly white light but gradually faded to show half of his crew hunched over him. Tali was crouched over him holding an omni-tool over his body.

"He's finally starting to come arou- Ngh!" Tali exclaimed as Shepard rose to a sitting position and flung his arms around her waist in a split second.

"It was you," he gasped, still trying to get air back into his depleted lungs, "it was always you, Tali. You're the one that's kept me motivated, kept me going all these years. Every shot, every fight, every decision I've ever made, it was hard, but you gave me a reason to get out of bed and do it again. It's always been you, and it's taken me all this time to see it." He looked up at her. She was looking down on him while she was still crouching. With her head looking down as it was silhouetted by the glow of the artificial sky, she looked like a goddess. Shepard's eyes pooled with tears. "I love you, Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy, and I'm never going to let you go, not even if the damned Reapers come and tear me asunder, I will never let you go!"

"Shepard, I-" she cut herself off, feeling a lump forming in her throat as she came to the realization that there was no way to construct a way out of it. There was no way to run diagnostics to see possible outcomes or run simulations. She could, and had, to say only one thing.

"I love you too, John!" She screamed as she threw her arms around him and dropped to her knees. She cried her eyes out once again. She finally calmed down slightly and they released each other. "I- I've felt the same way. You've always been there for me when I needed you. I don't want to lose you. Ever. I don't know what I would do without you," she said through sniffs from her sobs, "I love you with all my heart, John Shepard." They smiled at each other and embraced one last time.

"Uh, Shepard," said Garrus as he tapped him on his back, "I think you have some unfinished business." He held out a hand and Shepard grabbed it and hauled himself up. He looked over to see that the light beside the urn door was still glowing.

"We found you laying here in a coma. Tali kept you stable for the five minutes you were out," he said.

"Only five minutes?" Shepard asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah," Garrus asked, confused. He tilted his head and scratched the back of his neck in a puzzled fashion.

"I'll tell you about it later," he said, "right now, I've got to do this."

"No," Tali stated as she grabbed his elbow, "_We're_ going to do this as a team." Shepard turned around and saw Samara, Jacob, Thane, Kasumi, Zaeed, Joker, Jack, and everyone else on the Normandy. "I told them all everything."

"I said I'd stick with you 'till the end, Battlemaster," Grunt boomed, "and this 'aint the end yet."

"Goddamn right it isn't," Zaeed grunted, crossing his arms.

"Besides, will need endorsement from witness when personal biography gets published. So most productive for both parties to help out client in any way possible," Mordin chuckled. They all laughed heartily. Shepard finally turned toward the door and began to walk forward. He felt Thane's hand pat his shoulder, then he felt Grunt lightly punch his arm as he walked pass the line of his team. Every one of them gave him their own unique sign of respect.

He finally came to the button. He began to reach out to touch it, but then he felt weak again. Then, like an angel, he saw Tali's gloved hand reach out and wrap itself over the top of his hand. Her fingers went between the spaces between his fingers. He turned toward her and nodded. He saw her cheeks go up underneath her mask in a smile and she nodded back. Then, he pressed the button.

And just like that, the stoic reminders of his past were gone, drifting through space. Shepard felt like he had never felt before. He felt like he was himself and not some crutch for someone long gone. He turned around to his crew, put his arms behind his back and held his head up high.

"Alright, listen up!" he yelled out. His crew smiled as they saw the fire pour out of Shepard. "I am Commander John Shepard. Systems Alliance, N7 division. I am your Captain on the SR2 Normandy. Whatever I say, goes! Are we clear?"

"Yes sir!" they all yelled back in unison.

"I want you all to return to Fantasy and have a damn good time because tomorrow starting at 0900 hours, we're going to work, and then we're going to work some more! Are we clear?" He shouted again, this time pointing at them. He couldn't help but smile. He had never felt so much vigor. He had never felt so confident and so alive.

"Excellent, now, let's get out of here and back to the party. Hooah!" he yelled out. The crew moved with Shepard, following his lead. Tali wrapped her arms around his, letting him lead her.

" Shepard," she said in a serious tone, "did you ever find peace? Please be honest."

"I did Tali. Wolfe is dead and I'm not him. I can't bring back my own family because they're dead and nothing is going to change that. All I know is that I'm here, now, with you, and that's all the peace I'll ever need."

She smiled and laid her head on his arm, swooning. They all enjoyed their stay on the Citadel, but twenty four hours later, they were in deep space again on the Normandy. Shepard was alive once more, but his motivation this time wasn't credits, or the Alliance, or Cerberus. It was that quarian who saved him, and kept him going and kept him willing to face what may happen in their future adventures. He was ready for whatever dreams, or nightmares, may come their way from there to infinity.

All because of that one, absolutely amazing woman who gave his life purpose.


End file.
